#TheDress: How it proves social media isn't black and white

The internet has gone into meltdown over the last few days.

The cause? A dress. A picture of a dress that has caused immeasurable strain to relationships.

What colour do you see this dress as? White and gold? Blue and black?

Which is it?

Whichever it is, it’s a great example of how unpredictable social media is.

You can plan the greatest content, spend huge budgets on production quality but it goes to show that that, isn’t necessarily going to go huge. 

Social media, and its audience, are fickle and at times, the most peculiar and unexpected content can go global.

There is no set route to success on social, for this exact reason. No process is going to guarantee success, no strategy is going to nail on truly “viral” content.

#TheDress has now been trending for 3 days. Continually.

Whatever your stance, you have to sit back and admire the sheer power of Twitter in creating, somehow, one of the biggest debates the internet has seen, with one of the most trivial questions.

Beautiful. 

31 lessons I've learned - and a message for those struggling

Life is full of lessons. Some we learn automatically, as we grow. Some, we learn without even realising. And some, as unfortunate as this is, we only learn through adversity and suffering. Here are the lessons I've learned over the past 2 years, from good and bad experiences.

1) Life is hard. It's supposed to be. Challenges and adversity are what drive us to improve and better ourselves. Embrace it, or you'll be miserable for the rest of your life.

2) It's not fair either. It'd be nice if the hardest workers got the richest rewards. Sadly, that's not always the case. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. 

3) Your mind can dictate your mood. You can decide what kind of day you're going to have. Stop thinking "it's going to be one of those days," It's only one of those days when you decide it's one of those days.

4) Fear is good. Fear means you have something to lose. If you have something to lose, you have something to live and fight for. Welcome fear as part of your life but don't let it overwhelm you.

5) Courage is not the absence of fear. As wise old Ned Stark said (in different phrasing probably): "You can only be brave when you're afraid." Being scared and being brave go hand in hand. Again - embrace fear.

6) Those with the least are often the most willing to help. Being on the streets helped me to see that often the people with the least to give are those who are the most willing to give. Don't look down on those with less than you - if you lose it all, they'll be the ones offering a hand. 

7) We're all human. Black, white, Christian, Muslim, homeless, wealthy, obese, skinny, shy, outgoing. It doesn't matter, we all come under one banner: human. Others are your equals, treat them that way.

8) No one lives forever. Make the most of the people around you and remember to thank them for what they do. No one gets to the top alone. And if you do - it's awfully lonely there. 

9) Challenge yourself. No one ever got anywhere by staying in the comfort zone. Don't stick to what you know. Challenge yourself to venture into the unknown. No one will force you. It's up to you.

Me. Out of my comfort zone, in front of hundreds of people.

10) Work hard. It's extremely rare for anyone to be able to go through life without any effort. Any examples I've seen have never been as happy as those who work their fingers to the bone to get where they are. A secret - for a few years at school I was way behind everyone else. I got ahead through sheer graft and positive work ethic. Some might even go as far as to say I'm faintly intelligent now. 

11) Play hard. We all need to work to get anywhere in life. But don't forget what it's like to be a kid. We all say we miss it. So be a kid. Play games, climb a tree, build a den, do whatever you did when you were a kid. It'll make you smile,

12) Attitude is everything. The glass IS half full. If you think it's half empty, find a smaller glass. Then it's completely full. I'm a realist with an optimist's attitude. 

13) Family means family. They won't be there forever. I'm guilty of not appreciating mine enough. I love my family, even when they irritate the hell out of me. I wouldn't change them for anything. 

14) Be polite. Chivalry isn't chivalry if it's only to those we find attractive. Manners can make someone's day. And it's so damn easy! Much less effort than being rude.

15) Do what you love. Life is too short to be doing things we don't want to do. Yes, sometimes it is necessary. But, in general, do what you want to do. If you're going to spend your life doing something, you might as well enjoy it.

16) Be a dreamer. I want to travel the world playing poker in major tournaments. I want the glamorous lifestyle of a poker pro. High roller suites, the best parties around, lots of money to be won. Nothing wrong with dreaming, however unlikely it may seem.

17) Open your eyes. See what is around you. Don't live life in such a rush that you don't notice the world. Take off those blinkers and look around in wonder.

18) Appreciate beauty. Forget the news. Forget the wars, forget the suffering, forget everything. Look for yourself - there might be suffering. But there's so much more beauty.

19) Never stop learning. No one will ever know everything. But take every chance to learn something new. Not only does it make you look intelligent, it also makes you more aware of the world. That can only ever be a good thing. 

20) Take every opportunity you can. Seen the film "Yes Man?" Don't go to that extent - but take every opportunity you can. We can read all the books we want but we only ever get better at something by doing it. It'll make you a much happier person, trust me.

21) Make opportunities. There can be no excuses for not making the most of life. There are always opportunities of some kind, but if you can't see any then it's simple - make some for yourself.

22) Smile. It genuinely has a placebo effect. Smiling releases endorphins which make us happy. Don't worry, be happy :) 

23) Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Things may be bad. But you have breath in your lungs so you have something to smile about. No problem was ever solved with self pity.

24) Stop taking life for granted. Life can be snatched away from you when you least expect it. If you were on your deathbed tomorrow would you be happy with how you lived your life?

25) Ask "why?" Remember when you were a kid and you annoyed your parents by repeatedly asking them why? You had it spot on. Why are you unhappy? Why are you happy? Why didn't you take that opportunity? Why did you? Why, why, why, why, why?

26) Ask "why not?" Always look for a reason to be positive about a situation. When someone asks you why you did something, ask them why not! If you get an opportunity...why not?

27) Don't be afraid to say hello. Meeting new people can be difficult for some people. All it takes is a hello. Go for it! You won't regret it :) 

28) Take as many people to the top with you as possible. The more, the merrier.

29) Give something back. It might seem like too much effort but give something back to those who have helped you. You don't have to donate your life savings to a charity but give your time to them, or to someone who needs it. You'd be amazed what it can do for yourself as well as them.

30) Be proud. Recognise your own achievements. Don't be afraid of being perceived as arrogant. You have every right to be proud of what you have achieved. Reward yourself but never stop trying to make yourself even more proud.

31) Don't live to impress others. There's only one person you need to please when it all comes down to it. That person is the one constant who will always be in your life, no matter what. That person is yourself.

These are all important lessons. But the one thing I've learned that will stick with me above all others is that life isn't about titles or glory or success. You might chase it and I certainly do but it's not about that. It's about people. It's about those you see around you every day. It's about the strangers in the same shop as you. It's about your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your grandparents and everyone they know. Life has no higher meaning. We can pretend it does but at the end of the day, it's all about being human.

To those struggling with adversity at the moment, I have a message. You're not alone. You may think you are because your brain has convinced you.

But you're not.

If you're facing a mountain, no mountain is truly insurmountable. Maybe no one has managed to as yet. Why don't you be the first?

Work towards a goal, however simple, and see your problems as mere obstacles in your way of achieving that goal. For those in that situation, I have one, all important piece of advice.

32) Never. Give. Up.

6 ways poker and social media marketing can be compared

Being a poker player, I often get judged to be your average reckless gambler who throws all my money (and personal belongings if you believe Casino Royale is realistic) on the turn of a card.

In truth, being a successful player is so different. There is always a luck factor – it’s a game of incomplete information that can change with the cards that come after all, but succeeding in poker is about making the correct long term decisions and being adaptable to things that change.

People often laugh when I say that, in many ways, playing poker is a lot like running a business or in my case, social media marketing.

But if you take away the perception of poker often seen in films, and clear the cigar smoke often seen floating around in these rather judgemental scenes, then clear comparisons can be made.

1) Purpose – Before I make any bet in a hand I ask myself one question:

“Why?”

If you don’t have a reason to bet, you shouldn’t be betting. In social media, it is crucial to have a purpose for a post or for it to have some kind of benefit. Whether this is driving traffic elsewhere, retaining or acquiring customers or simply to get your audience to know your story, purpose is everything. Being on social isn’t about existing for the sake of existence (you might as well stop now if that is the case), it’s about really making strides with your presence. If you have no purpose to bet, or no plan for further on in the hand, then don’t do it.

2) Competitor analysis – A common piece of advice often given to players who are looking to up their game to a new level is to “play the player, not the cards.” This is often why, if you watch poker on TV, you will see pros playing hands that you might not think any good. They know the players they are against. They know the strengths, the weaknesses and their habits. They know what each slight twitch of the eyebrow means, every slight palpation in breathing patterns and exploit this to their advantage.

I don’t need to tell anyone is marketing that knowing your competitor is important. Knowing your competitor’s strengths and weaknesses allows you to exploit their weaknesses and differentiate yourself by giving customers a reason to come to your brand as opposed to theirs. Keeping an eye on rivals also allows you to pick up on mistakes they make, and use it to your advantage.

3) The front foot – The key to success in poker is aggression. The players who win the most are the players who apply maximum pressure to the opponent. This is obviously controlled aggression, with a purpose, but being on the front foot is all important.

Similarly, if you want to really stand out from your competitors on social, you need to be one step ahead. You need to be able to be proactive, rather than reactive. You’re not going to get aces often, and you’re not going to be able to source content that will have global reach everytime. The key is to always be on the ball and pick up on things before your rivals and show the initiative. Being on the front foot also makes you look like a brand that simply gets social media, which is of ever growing importance when it comes to customer perception.

4) Plan ahead – When I raise preflop (before any community cards are put on the table) in a hand, I always try and plan for anything that might happen. If I have pocket kings and an ace comes, I need to have a plan of what I’m going to do if I get action from another player. This also comes from knowing my opponent. Planning ahead is all about recognising the different scenarios and knowing what you’re going to do to maximise your profit or, in many cases, minimise your losses.

Social marketing is no different – being proactive is all well and good but you also need to be able to be reactive and to know what you’re going to do if circumstances change. This requires a certain degree of flexibility, of course. Being able to plan for any situation your brand might find themselves in is all important to success on social. You can have the greatest content (in your eyes) ever created but if things go wrong, what do you do then? Plan ahead, know what you’re going to do if your opponent check-raises you and remember that every crisis is an opportunity.

5) Make the most of what you have – This is important. There will be times in a game of poker where you’re not getting the hands you want. You can’t wait for aces, they might not come. You play the players, not the cards. What do you know about your opponents that you can use to your advantage?

Not every brand on social media is going to excite the masses. Some brands are probably seen as quite mundane to the public eye. Your job is to make the most of what you have and get people excited about your product. If you can’t get excited about it then how can you expect the world to be? Think about what your audience wants and give them it, without being completely irrelevant of course.

        6) Optimise with limited resources, stay composed!  – When you’re running out of chips, the pressure is on. The blinds (forced bets) are rising and your stack is not. This is the time to be calm, composed and use what you have to apply pressure. There’s an old adage in poker – all you need is a chip and a chair.

Not every brand has huge digital marketing budgets. It’s becoming increasingly essential to have a budget, especially considering recent changes in particular to Facebook’s algorithms. Think carefully about what you want to spend that budget on and optimise the correct content to what your audience wants and needs. Play the player, not the cards.

Poker then, can be compared to almost any aspect of business. It’s about taking calculated risks, applying pressure to your opponents, knowing what your rivals are doing, exploiting their weaknesses.

The most beautiful thing about poker though, is that anyone can win. You can play the Daniel Negreanu’s and the Phil Ivey’s of the world and win. Any brand can succeed on social if you know how to play it. Play the player, not the cards.

How a tin of beans helps me to speak to big audiences

Ahh, public speaking.

Some fear it, most hate it, but me? I can’t get enough of it. Being a Young Ambassador for The Prince’s Trust has given me plenty of opportunities to give speeches (not to mention sample some rather excellent food) and I take every chance I’m offered.

But a question I get asked a lot is: “How do you manage to speak to audiences that big? Don’t you get nervous?”

Of course I do. Anyone was close enough to me when I was speaking at the HR Distinction awards would have seen my hand shaking a scary amount.

But the ability to speak isn’t about not having those nerves, it’s the ability to control them and still deliver the message you want to send. In fact, the presence of nerves comforts me. Anyone who isn’t nervous before public speaking is either a superhuman or, more likely, somewhat arrogant of their ability.

So, what is the best way to cope? Some would tell you to imagine the audience naked.

No thank you.

When I’m about to go on stage and give a speech, the first thing I do is sit up very straight and pretend I’m someone extremely powerful. This gives me the illusion of power and therefore a bit of control over how I’m feeling. That sounds stupid but it really works for me so I don’t mind too much.

And then, I remember my audience is just like a tin of beans.

I don’t picture them all dressed as cans of Heinz*, that would be ridiculous and would put anyone off. No, I just look at the audience and realise that I can’t actually see any facial details. They’re all just a mesh of unidentifiable beings all gathered closely. They’re all beans in a can, that’s it.

Now, what is terrifying about talking to a tin of beans? Unless you’re an outsider watching someone actually talking to a tin of tomatoey beany goodness of course. That'd freak me out no end.

It works for me. It makes me more comfortable in front of a crowd. Maybe I’m just a bit crazy but why not give it a go yourself next time you speak?

Remember:

Audience = tin of beans

I’d be fascinated to hear how other people manage with public speaking. Do you have a unique (and slightly less crackpot than mine, I imagine) way of preparing for a speech? Let me know in the comments J

*Other, similarly excellent, brands of beans are available